Etiquette for Small Weddings
As you begin
planning your wedding you will have many questions about etiquette. Are the rules for large and
small weddings the same? Well, yes and no. The level
of formality will dictate some of the answers to your questions. Small does not necessarily mean
informal but you do have more latitude in certain areas. Receiving lines, for example, may seem
awkward and out of place in smaller venues but you do want your guests to have a smooth transition between the ceremony and
reception. A good site director or better yet, a hostess whose only duty is to make your guests
comfortable, can facilitate a smooth transition and a much more relaxing and exciting event.
Formality rather than size will determine the
appropriate selection and wording on your invitations. Brides who opt for small weddings
are more than likely a little older, and almost certainly footing a large portion of the bill themselves. Unless you are wounding the feelings of a parent it is perfectly appropriate for the invitations to come
from you and your fiancé. Engraved invitations can be quite pricy but there are some very good
options that range from Thermography to print-your-own kits at home to making them yourself. If
you enjoy activities like scrapbooking and you only need a small number of invitations craft stores offer you endless paper, vellum, and
embellishment possibilities. If your wedding is formal stick to printed invitations. Out of
the five wedding invitations I have recieved in the last three years only one came from a professional printer. I could not tell from
the invitations themselves, I only knew because the bride told me.
Attendants for Small Weddings
Choosing bridesmaids and groomsmen can be a touchy
situation if you are trying to keep your wedding party small. This is your wedding and you need people who are willing to be fun, supportive, and actively involved in helping
you plan and organize. If your cousin who you have not seen in five years expects suddenly to
become your maid of honor, her expectations are unreasonable. Communicate your decisions and talk
to your friends and family. Most anyone who truly wishes you well will be
understanding. If you have children including them in the wedding party is almost always a
good idea. Give them tasks appropriate for their ages. Pre-teens, teens, and adult children are generally thrilled to be bridesmaids, ushers, and
groomsmen. Younger children obviously could be flower girls and ring bearers. Be sensitive. The idea of being the center of attention may be
daunting to children. Also, if a child is unhappy about the upcoming nuptials he or she may be
reluctant to participate.
Small Weddings Reception Tables
Seating charts and
place cards may seem a little silly if you have thirty-five or fewer guests at a sit-down dinner, but use them anyway. You may know all of your guests but they don’t necessarily know each other. In unfamiliar situations people like to know where to go and what to do next. Place cards are customary and comforting plus they give you another opportunity to be
creative. Remember that charts and place cards are not etched in stone. Your friends and family may rearrange them to be near their friends. Guests may shuffle from seat to seat
visiting people they have not seen in a long time. You are simply giving your guests guidance.
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